that's my jam

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ok i had to share my fav tunes for a quick work-out jump start. i like to bust a few moves before a run in the park :) these ones seriously get me pumped. been listening to this loop on repeat haha.

treasure // bruno mars

come & get it // selena gomez

that way // ariana grande and mac miller

#beautiful // mariah carey and miguel

#thatpower // will.i.am and justin bieber

 & one for the cool down: 

highway don't care // tim mcgraw and taylor swift 

I knew I could, I knew I could

in case you were missing my relentless commentary on the 10K, here's more! a recap of saturday's events.

(a shoot of central park west jam packed, my bumpin 10K playlist, andrea & I pre-race in columbus circle,  me & my flailing arms crossing the finish line, and some action shots. after the race I downed a huge breakfast, took a sparkly bubble bath, got a mani/pedi and filled the afternoon with bread)

this is the first shot of the day. I got up bright and early, grabbed a gatorade and met andrea at the subway. I was really nervous having never run 6 miles in my life. I know it doesn't seem that far and it really isn't, but it seemed like a nearly insurmountable feat for me. andrea, ever the voice of confidence, assured me I could do it. we rode down to columbus cirlce, made some swedish friends, and then got ready for the race to start.

after 6 something long miles I bounced across that finish line singing defying gravity with a few tears running down my cheeks. my emotional/super red from exhaustion face is extra special.

the first 3 miles I kept up with andrea & marilee and their smooth, swift strides, but after hill number two I had to acknowledge those blue romney shirts were moving forward at a pace I could not sustain. so I ran along on my own trying to think of anything besides, HOW MUCH FURTHER?! when I got to the "800M to go" sign I was about at my limit. I remember my sister telling me how much she loved listening to defying gravity during her half marathon so I clicked to that song. hearing the crowd and seeing the finish line gave me an extra push and I ran hard across the line. I'd be lying if I said this race wasn't incredibly hard for me, but I'm so glad I pushed through. it was wonderful to know I had followed through and that I could do it. I surprised myself so much that I decided to run a half marathon. one step closer to figuring out what I am made of.

girl power!!!!

could not have done it without this cute running mate. she's much faster than me so we didn't get to run together on race day, but she encouraged me through every step of the journey. she even texted me at the end of the race that she was waiting for me at the finish line. I knew on mile one that I would be too disappointed to tell her I had walked... there was nothing to do but keep running.

and so I did. I ran the whole thing! slowly as you can see, but without walking none the less.

NYRR Race Results Member Race History ING New York City Marathon New York City Marathon Archive (1970-2011)		NYRR New York Mini 10K List by Name: Kaitlyn Ray Distance:  6.2 miles, 10 kilometers Date/Time:  June 9, 2012, 8:00 AM Location:  Central Park, NYC Weather:  69 degrees, 55% humidity, wind 5 MPH.

Overall Place	Gender Place	Age Place	Net Time	5K Split	Pace/ Mile	AG Time	AG Gender Place	AG %
4825	4825	1185	1:10:11	0:31:52	11:19	1:10:11	5141	43.23 %

not gonna walk

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there's about to be a lot of "crying" going on. here I come 10K

run run run

racer back tank // capri pants // sports bra // socks // headband // sneaks // backpack

tomorrow I run like I've never run before! while training for this thing I've found that while so far I do in fact still hate running, there is something satisfying about it. I hope that little seedling grows into a love of running and a rockin runners body to match. I'm nurturing that seed with the best attempts at consistency and good gear of course. this is what I'll be racing not walking, but not running fast enough to be a competitor, in this weekend.

one: lulu racer back tank. light, soft, breathable fabric is key for me.
two: have yet to find a sports bra that really offers the support I need, but I love the look and feel of this one so I just double up.
three: I won't actually run in this for the 10K, but I do use it when I run home from work and love it.
four: looks super nerdy... ok is super nerdy, but is such an improvement from an arm band. can stash my phone, keys, and a chapstick in here and it doesn't feel like a thing.
five: I prefer capris for running. loose running shorts are cute, but are just more uncomfortable for me.
six: a good headband is crucial in the summer.
seven: I like NB and nikes. I like light weight with decent support.
eight: the right sock. not to tall, not too low!

I think I can, I think I can...

race day is saturday.

IM SCARED. 

haha

but, no really...

my one and only goal is to keep running the whole time. no walking.

doesn't sound so bad, if you are moving at a snails pace, but I probably would have collapsed if I'd had to do one more mile after last weeks fiver. {Im not a runner}

I'm toast for sure. pray for my survival.

here I come summer...

this plus this

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#makeitcount

amazing & inspiring

two roads

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right now I am standing at a crossroad. the ground is warm beneath my feet. to my left is to the easy way and to my right the unknown.

easy street is calling my name... reminding me how well we know each other. and that's what makes the easy road so tempting, not because it's less work but because it is familiar to me. I've become afraid of unfamiliar terrain. I know I can move swiftly down the smooth length of easy street under the comfortable shade of the trees. there is no pressure on the easy road, it's just a place to coast along.

but everyone knows you are rarely where you really want to be after taking the easy road. still, time after time when I've found myself looking out on an expanse of possibilities, I've thought "it will be easier less painful to just not believe in myself. instead I will let myself just skim over the top of achievement. only letting my toes touch the water... just in case.
just in case I am unprepared in someway for what is ahead.
just in case I fail.
just in case I get in over my head.
just in case I'm not brave enough.

now it seems I've made a bad habit of letting my fear of failure the unknown keep me from truly trying.

 right now my life is taking unexpected turns and the pieces of my dreams are coming together like never before. I know the stakes are high now and I am NOT willing to miss out on my dreams because I didn't give 100%

a standard of grace

 a dark cloud over my entire healthy 2012 process has been guilt. the guilt I feel over the failures big or small. the guilt I have let become a constant part of my day. the guilt that has clouded my mind and weighed me down.

in the past when the dark and twisty guilt has been working away at my insides I've looked for ways to medicate myself. a bowl of cherry garcia will pacify this scary guilt monster... a night of lazy TV watching will quiet the pain of the guilt fest... surely this new pair of heels will make me feel fabulous again.
don't misunderstand me there is a time and place for these silly simple pleasures, but they are not a treatment plan. I have so poorly medicated my ailments for such a long time. now I am learning how to stop medicating  and start treating. I need to treat that nasty guilt so I can cure it.
the healthy way.

step one: I will recognize that I can not be perfect
there is no point in guilting myself to death after every mistake. mistakes are part of life. I will hold myself to a standard of grace not perfection.
step two: I will set boundaries
when I measure my progress each tiny victory feel amazing. the momentum of my successes moves me forward.
step three: I will give myself credit 
 I can allow myself to enjoy the rewards of my hard work without granting myself permission to overly indulge.
step four: I will not loose sight of the why trying to accomplish the what
forgetting the real reasons for my goals in the fastest way for me to fail.
step five:I will remember I am not alone
I am not the only person out there who is trying to accomplish something and I am not without support.

just doing it

it seems like I am always giving myself a reason to get out of the things I need to be doing. it was a long day at work, that trip to the grocery store was a nightmare,  I'm too tired today... bla bla bla. but the truth of it is: 

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tomorrow is getting really old.
tomorrow is not working.
 TODAY is the new tomorrow.

 today I'm going to do my training even if I don't get home until 9:30pm. today I am going to get to bed before midnight even if it means I skip watching some TV with J after the gym. today I am going to thoroughly wash my face, floss, and say my prayers even if I am in a hurry to get to the bed, and today I am going to do better than I did yesterday, because today is really all I have!

I took this last week after I went to a fun dance class, but then made myself do my 10K training when I got home. seriously I felt so proud of myself after just doing it that one small victory carried me the rest of the week through of my healthy 2012 plan. so even if there seems like plenty of reasons to let myself off the hook just this time I'm going to stick to it. I'm going to JUST DO IT no matter what.

how bad do you want it?

I feel like I need to give my health quest a name… a name and an end date. well, not so much an end date since this is a long term pursuit, but rather a point for evaluation. so I’m calling it healthy 2012 (in honor of J who chants "healthy 2012" every time we go to the gym) and I’m reviewing my first set of goals 3/31/12, which is rapidly approaching. hitting some bumps in the road has caused me to spend a good portion of time asking myself 

HOW BAD DO I WANT IT?

 is it worth: 10 more painful crunches, one less thin mint, a slightly hungry feeling in my stomach?

 the answer has always resoundingly been YES. every time I feel tempted to be lazy I ask myself how badly do I want this and it pushes me. this concept is spilling over and now I find myself approaching everything this way. it's given me somewhat of a new lease on life. I am giving myself permission to control my own choices, to hold only myself responsible for the consequences of my actions. there is no one to blame but myself for failure so it's time to find out what I'm made of. these fitness goals have become a reflection of something much bigger. am I going to be the kind of person who accomplishes what she sets out to do to the best of her ability or am I going to continue skating along never reaching higher?

 this health quest is looking suspiciously like figuring out who I am. 

and I’m liking it.

accountable

I mean business

here's the situation: a big thing that is keeping me from meeting my fitness goals in accountability. now that I've put down some serious measurable goals, I think giving myself a little responsibility will really help me stay consistent. I'm not just working out... I'm training (sounds serious). 

GOALS:

+ loose X inches by 3/31 (the # is for just me to know)

+ 45 hrs of sleep weekly

ROUTINE:

+ daily walking (at least 10mins)

+ nike training club workouts (at least 3 times weekly)

+ no eating past 9pm

+ 1-2 plant based meals a day

to spare you from all the boring day to day details, I'm just going to post periodically if there was a failure. to keep myself accountable and hopefully motivate me. time to DO WORK!

day four

and i'm feelin good.

this fitness challenge is whipping me into shape.

I was getting down to business for a bit before I started but when I got on the scale this morning I saw a number I hadn't seen in awhile 

YAY

I'm loving this challenge so much that I'm already starting to think of how I'm going to merge this lifestyle with my own when the 8 weeks are over. I don't want to just fall right back into old habits, but it won't be as easy to be strict without this challenge.

I thought the hardest part was going to be not eating after eight, but the thing is... you really don't need to eat after dinner. it's so much easier not to do it when you've decided you're not going to in advance. 

four days down...52 to go

day one

this is the first day of the 8 week fitness challenge I'm doing with some girlfriends
(and their girlfriends... 67 people total) 

my game face is ON!
the rules are this:

No desserts (6 points + 1 bonus point = 7 points)

No soda (6 points + 1 bonus point = 7 points)

No eating after 8pm (6 points + 1 bonus point = 7 points)

15 minutes of Scripture study** (6 points + 1 bonus point = 7 points)

Exercise 5 times a week for 30 minutes at a time (5 points + 1 bonus point = 6 points)

Weekly Challenge (6 points + 1 bonus point = 7 points)

You will receive one free day a week.  So everything is based on 6 days, except for exercise which is only 5.

Total points possible per week: 41

Weekly Challenges

Week 1:  Keep a food journal every day

Week 2:  Get 7 hours a sleep every night

Week 3:  5 servings of veggies every day

Week 4:  Drink 64 fluid ounces of water every day

Week 5:  Do 100 sit ups and 50 push ups every day.  Does not have to be one sitting

Week 6:  Eat 4 servings of fruit every day

Week 7:  Eat 5 small meals every day

Week 8:  Run/walk at least a half marathon (on top of the 5 days of exercise).  Does not have to be completed in one day, but needs to total 13.1 miles)

**A note on the The "scripture study" requirement... this can be from your choice of book of scripture or any other book that you read from that provides spiritual/religious guidance.  In this challenge we are aiming for a more well-balanced life that includes spiritual nourishment of some kind, whether it's religious, or more self-help... whatever it is that feeds your soul is your "scripture study".

I think I can, I think I can...

try not to think differently of me for posing so awkwardly