how bad do you want it?

I feel like I need to give my health quest a name… a name and an end date. well, not so much an end date since this is a long term pursuit, but rather a point for evaluation. so I’m calling it healthy 2012 (in honor of J who chants "healthy 2012" every time we go to the gym) and I’m reviewing my first set of goals 3/31/12, which is rapidly approaching. hitting some bumps in the road has caused me to spend a good portion of time asking myself 

HOW BAD DO I WANT IT?

 is it worth: 10 more painful crunches, one less thin mint, a slightly hungry feeling in my stomach?

 the answer has always resoundingly been YES. every time I feel tempted to be lazy I ask myself how badly do I want this and it pushes me. this concept is spilling over and now I find myself approaching everything this way. it's given me somewhat of a new lease on life. I am giving myself permission to control my own choices, to hold only myself responsible for the consequences of my actions. there is no one to blame but myself for failure so it's time to find out what I'm made of. these fitness goals have become a reflection of something much bigger. am I going to be the kind of person who accomplishes what she sets out to do to the best of her ability or am I going to continue skating along never reaching higher?

 this health quest is looking suspiciously like figuring out who I am. 

and I’m liking it.